What's In A Name?

For those who know me well, the name of this blog should immediately make sense. For those who are wondering where the name comes from, allow me to explain. When my parents had their first child (me) many years ago, they were challenged to find a suitable name for their precious bundle of joy. My mom wanted to name me Siobhan (pron: shuh-vahn), while my dad preferred the name Leah. They compromised and went with something else entirely, something that sounded as if the names Siobhan and Leah were deconstructed and then blended into one name. That name, a popular one both then and now, was familiar and ordinary. Not wanting to settle for something plain or simple for their obviously extraordinary little one, my folks chose to give the familiar spelling a twist in order to maintain a measure of uniqueness. They agreed to name me Ashly...without the "e."

I know, it doesn't sound like a significant decision. How could something so seemingly innocuous as eliminating one (unnecessary) letter have any kind of noticeable impact on my life? Twenty-six years of having to specify the proper spelling, and 26 years of correcting people when they insist on adding that pesky "e" even after I've told them there is no "e" have given me an interesting perspective on people and the world. For better or worse, I judge people just a little bit based on whether or not they pay enough attention to the details of their surroundings to spell my name correctly after they have been made aware of the proper spelling. Obviously, if someone has never seen my name in print or been told verbally to omit the "e," I reserve my judgement. But for those who have either heard the correct spelling or seen it in print, I am quick to judge attention to detail and more generally, attention to life.

Through my mental case studies, I have found that those who do not take enough care to spell another person's name correctly, even after learning how it is spelled, are either entirely too busy to have any semblance of a life at all, or they are just lazy, stupid, or careless, or possibly all three. My personal favorite are those people who get e-mail messages from me with my name typed twice (once to end the message, and a second time in the automatic e-signature that is added to each outgoing message) and then respond by sending an e-mail back to "Ashley." If they had actually read the whole message before jumping in to their own response, they could not possibly have thought I spelled my own name incorrectly...TWICE. Because most of these kinds of people are repeat offenders (which means they should have seen my name spelled properly many, many times), I tend to believe they are not only too busy for their own good, but also lazy, careless, and possibly not too bright.

While I have certainly made an occasional mistake with other people's names in the past, I am quick to correct any errors that I learn about, as I am overly-sensitive to how people spell their names. After all, names are identities, and something as simple as the proper spelling can make the difference between feeling like yourself and feeling like an imposter with someone else's name. I have learned to truly appreciate the unique spelling of my name because it is a fun talking point for new people I meet. More importantly, it is a discreet measuring tool for people I encounter every day, giving me an extra ounce of insight into those around me.